David Miscarriage has once again been awarded the coveted Z-Org Employee of the Month award today. This is only the second time this award has been issued, during the entire two months history of the existence of the Church of Ziontology. David won precisely the same award last month as well, becoming the first ever Church of Ziontology employee to have ever been awarded the award twice within the same flesh cycle. I welcome everyone in giving some lukewarm congratulations to David on his Big Win.
Although David is our first and only employee so far, and perhaps ever, one can only marvel at the feet he has accomplished in winning this award two months consecutively.
Other noteworthy accomplishments of David in previous flesh cycles include his service as secret service agent and counter secret service agent for both the Galactic Confederacy ruled by the deity named Xeno and the Galactic Union ruled by the deity named Zeno. If it were not for David, the Galactic Civil War might not have lasted for eighty quadrillion years, and Predicament II, known as the "Ring of Fire", might never even have happened! So, if it were not for David, where would that have left the Church of Ziontology? One sometimes wonders! Therefore, as a temporary honor to David, for the next month or so, the Ziontology symbol composed of two superimposed triangles will be temporarily designated as "The Star of David". So please, everyone join me, and lets take our hats off to David for a job well done!
Of course no pay raise is planned for David, in spite of his brilliant work. This is due to an unfortunate technicality, since, as specified in Church of Ziontology Holy Scriptures, all Z-Org employees are given only room, board and a fixed weekly pay of just US$24 per week. That works out to just US$1248 per year, which may seem like not that much. But factor in the fact that, as with all Z-Org employees, David has signed an employment contract with the organization for one trillion years. That results in a total payout of well over what he, or anyone else for that matter, is likely to be worth to the Zee Organization over that time period.
Copyright © 2008 StepUpTransform LLC. All rights reserved.
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1 comment:
Again, you've captured the spirit and logic of the cult perfectly.
Have you considered writing on other newsworthy topics? I know pretty much everything else on the planet has fewer holes than sci^H^H^H ziontology, but you've obviously got some flare and style.
A lot more than me!
Keep writing :)
Lawtears
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