Beware the Potential Truffle Source

PTS stands for Potential Truffle Source. A PTS is a person who, in Ziontological jargon, simply likes truffles, and as a result, becomes uncontrollably and inexorably hostile toward the Church of Ziontology and the Trianetics religion. Since its earliest days, more than two months ago now, the Church of Ziontology has been plagued with problems stemming from the consumption of truffles. According to Ziontological Scriptures, ingestion of certain subterranean mushrooms is a major cause of severe lucidity in many otherwise religiously susceptible people. Therefore, truffles are now officially recognized as the leading cause of all proselytizing problems that are currently facing Z-Org, and they have proven to be a major impediment to the growth of the Church of Ziontology, especially in France.
Recently, an underground subversive group has formed, who anonymously named themselves THETAN, which is the acronym for “Truffle Hogs of the Endo-Terrestrial Alien Nation”. Ziontologists just call them “Hogs” for short, since even the acronym has one more syllable than what most Ziontologists tend to like pronouncing. The Hogs are primarily comprised of specially trained mycologists and haute cuisine chefs, who have as their only intention to destroy Ziontology with deliciously evil truffles recipes. The Church of Ziontology has made great strides in eliminating this dastardly new gastronomic threat. However, the Hogs have recently, actually just yesterday in fact, gone cowardly into underground pantries, hiding to form the "Church of the Hypogenous Edible Fungus", or CHEF for short. That acronym only adds insult to injury for the likes of Jerome "Chef" McElroy, the school cafeteria cook at South Park Elementary School, who is one of the few remaining chefs still trying to keep the faith. Ziontologists tend to refer to members of this new group as the “Chefs”, as the acronym is already short enough as it is already. But be warned, if you are a dastardly Chef, whatever evil you may be cooking up in your despicable saucepans, we will search you down and utterly ruin your appetite, wherever you may be hiding!